Over Thanksgiving, between turkey-fueled naps, I finished reading CONFESSIONS OF A PUPPETMASTER: A HOLLYWOOD MEMOIR OF GHOULS, GUTS, AND GONZO FILMMAKING by Charles Band. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I do believe I have discovered one of the most inspirational books published during my lifetime. You won’t find Band’s memoir in any self-help section but it’s impossible to not feel motivated and ready to tackle the (END OF THE) WORLD after reading Band’s book. It’s really, really good.
If the title of the book didn’t clue you to it, Charles Band is a horror film empresario, having produced and directed hundreds of exploitation films since the ‘70s. Seriously, the man is prolific as hell - despite suffering setback after setback during his career. He’s been firebombed by the mob, lost his Empire to creditors, and been arrested at a horror convention in Texas for not paying his bills. Where a sane man might tap out of showbusiness and try his hand at selling used cars, Band has continued to dive headfirst back into the entertainment industry - delivering straight-to-home horrors on a regular basis.
I am a huge fan of much of Band’s films - especially the films he made during the ‘80s and his time leading Empire International Pictures. GHOULIES, ZONE TROOPERS, TROLL, DOLLS, RE-ANIMATOR, ARENA, ROBOT JOX - the list of stone-cold genre classics Band is responsible for in just a single decade is staggering. And even after Band lost nearly everything following some bad financial dealings that led to Empire’s library of films and his massive studio in Italy being repossessed by the bank, Band would build a new empire - Full Moon Features. Full Moon has churned out film after film - from the PUPPET MASTER series to DEMONIC TOYS to THE GINGERDEAD MAN and DOLL MAN and EVIL BONG. Okay, Charles Band likes making movies about tiny creatures that want to kill you - but the point is this: He is a juggernaut when it comes to staying in the film business despite setback after setback.
The secret to Charles Band’s success? Not knowing when to quit and not waiting for somebody to hand him success. Charles Band wanted to make movies so he found a hustle that helped kickstart his career. Charles Band had allies and investors and people who helped him find success throughout the different eras of his career, true, but he went out and found those people - he didn’t wait for them to find him. My dad once gave me a piece of advice that I try and live by every day: Life does not give you opportunities unless you take an active role in fighting for them. And it’s true - every personal success I have found in life was because I set my mind to achieving something and didn’t stop until that goal was achieved.
In college, I bluffed my way into a position reviewing films at the student newspaper. Once I had my in at the paper, I talked my way into being named Arts and Entertainment Editor through sheer force of will. I wanted to work at the Alamo Drafthouse so I brought a copy of my resume and left it at the theater every week for four months until I landed an interview. Once I was hired (in the accounting department!), I wanted to program films at the Alamo Drafthouse so I brought up ideas for events with my boss every chance I got until he relented and let me try my hand at organizing something. Most recently, this past year I decided I wanted to write a comic book so I took a second job selling ads for FANGORIA (a second job I spent months trying to get), raised the money to hire an artist, and made my own dang comic book.
I’ll admit - there are times in my life where I’ve been complacent. I spent most of the late ‘10s treading water. I let my ego and sense of entitlement whisper into my ear - telling myself that I had reached the point in life where opportunities should be handed to me. I waited for these chances to be given to me like some Publisher’s Clearing House lottery instead of seeking them out. I thought that my talent should be recognized and, thus, waited patiently for some omnipotent god to pluck me out from my current lot in life for bigger and better opportunities. Wrong! The truth is - most people are looking out for themselves and, if you aren’t looking out for own self, nobody will stop what they’re doing, read your mind to find out what you want from life, and then deliver you your dreams unprompted.
It’s easy to give up when you keep being told no. It’s easy to think that your dreams are just forever out of reach. CONFESSIONS OF A PUPPETMASTER is a testament of a man who wants to be in the entertainment business so much, he’s willing to do whatever it takes to keep that career going. The movies he’s now making look a lot different than the films he made during his heyday - he doesn’t have the budget he once had, he lacks the resources he was once surrounded with, but he keeps going. He keeps moving forward. He keeps reinventing his career as necessary and keeps picking himself back up after every misfortune. Charles Band is doing what he wants to do because of willpower alone. What’s preventing you from doing the same?
Take a page out of the book from the man who made ASSAULT OF THE KILLER BIMBOS, though - keep at it. Don’t let your dreams sit on a shelf forever out of reach. If you want something in life, go out and get it. Also, maybe get into the business of making movies about little killer monsters.
There’s always money in little killer monsters, apparently.