Last week, there was a discussion on social media about the ethics of pirating a movie if the movie hasn’t yet been released in your community. This debate was brought on by the slow theatrical rollout of films like HUNDREDS OF BEAVERS and THE PEOPLE’S JOKER, as well as the long window between the theatrical release of GODZILLA MINUS ONE and its home video release. Let me assure you that in both cases, piracy is not justified. No, none of your “but what about my cases” give you a moral loophole. You’re wrong if you pirate the movie whichever way you cut it.
You’ve got to have a little patience, movie pirates.
In this age of instant gratification born from the internet, people don’t remember how to wait for things they want to watch. Dealing with social media for a movie theater during awards season is a flood of “Why isn’t this movie playing in my city yet?!?” messages, most of them blaming the theaters for not booking the films. I assure you, there is always a reason why studios release titles on a platform, and it usually has to do with building up demand. Building demand was also a factor in why studios would wait to release a film on home video for months - if not a full year - after its theatrical run. It’s also the reason why studios occasionally put a film in the “vault” - like Disney used to do with its animated films and like modern-day streamers are doing with some of their shows and television. You take something away from people in order to make them realize how much they want it.
A few years ago I got fed up with having to deal with a non-stop barrage of questions over why movies like CALL ME BY YOUR NAME or THE SHAPE OF WATER weren’t playing in communities like Lubbock or El Paso when they had already opened in New York and LA. I decided to write a post that I could share. This, of course, did nothing to stop the questions - but it did make me feel better. In honor of this past week’s mini conversation about patience, here’s the reason why some movies take a while to be released in smaller communities:
This is the time of year where people who work for movie theaters in smaller markets are inundated with emails and calls of confusion.
"Why aren't you showing THE SHAPE OF THE WATER?!?!"
"Why is CALL ME BY YOUR NAME not playing anywhere in town!?!"
You try and explain the platform release strategy but it's almost always no use. But - just in case any of you, my friends - are wondering why you don't have a particular movie you're seeing a lot of critical buzz about playing in a theater near you, here it goes:
It costs a lot of money to release a movie. Beyond the overheard costs of creating hard drives, shipping, virtual print fees and the such, there are also advertising costs. A studio doesn't want to just dump a movie into a city - they want to prime the pump first. Billboards, television spots, reviews, etc. To release a movie in 2,000+ theaters across the country is a costly endeavor and to do so for a movie that fails to find an audience can often mean somebody's not getting their yearly bonus around the end of the year.
To combat this, studios will often take smaller films and release them across a platform: opening in New York and/or LA the first weekend, expanding to top markets in select theaters the second weekend and then, from there, either jumping wide or slowly continuing to roll out. This has traditionally led to a lot of success for titles - letting the film build buzz as it slowly spreads across the country, building anticipation and - most importantly - ensuring that the film will continue to play in theaters well into the late winter, which is essential for awards season buzz.
Christmas is a crowded time - with a ton of movies being released, all fighting for screen space. If you release a movie like CALL ME BY YOUR NAME in the beginning of December in a place like Lubbock, it's going to be out of theaters and completely forgotten by the first of January. But then - when Golden Globe and Oscar nominations start coming out, there will be no place for people to go see it and the studio will have lost out on the revenue they could have had.
The platform release allows a film to simmer in the public consciousness, it gives it a fighting chance to build anticipation, buzz and become a successful film when competing against tentpoles like STAR WARS, JUMANJI and the like.
The flipside, of course, is that there are some people who just can't wait - or don't know to wait. Film buffs aren't just located in top markets - to people who are eagerly anticipating films like THE SHAPE OF THE WATER or THE POST, the wait can be excruciating. It feels like you're being left out of the conversation - because, let's face it - the internet is useless for allowing anticipation to simmer. "Film Twitter" and the like go nuts for a platform release far too early in its release pattern - sharing memes, reviews and hot takes before most of America has had a chance to see the film and then, when the movie has finally become available to watch for 70 percent of the country, they are already on to talking about the next film that audiences aren't able to watch yet.
Those forced to wait are tempted to turn to piracy - and this sucks. It hurts the film, it hurts the theaters and it's just in general a shitty thing to do.
If you're living in a place like Katy, Lubbock or El Paso, platform releases can seem stupid and frustrating - and maybe to an extent they are - but the studios are looking out for their best interest. They're trying to maximize the number of people who will see the film when it's released and they're trying to ensure the film plays in a city through Oscar night. So, while the waiting might suck, there is something to be said about the fact that you're anticipating an art film or prestige picture with the same fervent excitment that most people reserve for superhero pics. That's cool. Just don't pirate films, because that's a dickish thing to do.
In anticipation of the release of THE KINGDOM OF THE PLANET OF THE APES, I’m trying to rewatch the modern Andy Serkis trilogy of Apes films.
RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES holds up crazy well. At the very least, Andy Serkis should have gotten an Oscar nomination for his performance of Caesar in the APES trilogy. He filled his performance with so much humanity and pathos - not an easy task when you’re playing an ape, let alone a CGI one. The generational story of fathers and sons in the film - John Lithgow, James Franco and Caesar the ape who’d lead a revolution - hits just as hard now as it did when I first saw the film. I watched the film with my fiancée, a woman who has never seen a Planet of the Apes film, let alone know what they’re about. Hearing her scream What the fuck!?!” when Caesar spoke made my week.
I love watching movies with Lucía. When I see a movie with her that she’s never seen, it’s like I’m watching it with fresh eyes too. Sure she may not understand every obscure movie reference I drop into casual conversation, but knowing that she won’t get them helps ween me off the need to pepper every conversation with references to obscure movies - an annoying habit I have historically had, to be sure. The best advice I can give movie-obsessed little freaks like myself is to consider coupling up with people who only have a casual relationship with cinema. It helps give your life perspective, plus you'll never have to get annoyed that they watched a movie without you.
Last week, Lucía and I also watched CHALLENGERS, which I thought was great. I have zero interest in tennis on most days, but I found myself absolutely enthralled with the story, which juxtaposes a seemingly unimportant tennis match with the romantic rivalry between the two players and a woman they have chased their entire adult lives. I’m actually not that keen on watching most sports, but you give me a full emotional history behind the players and I’m on the edge of my seat. The same experience happened when I watched THE FIRST SLAM DUNK last year, a Japanese animated film that mixes a high school basketball game with a coming-of-age story.
Forget commercial breaks; sports should pause from the games and show us stylized reenactments of the players’ lives. Ah, who am I kidding - I probably still wouldn’t watch sports unless they shot the game from the POV of the balls, like director Luca Guadagnino did with tennis balls in CHALLENGERS.
I hope the hardcore porn parody of CHALLENGERS features pickleball, if for no reason, then I would like to finally understand the rules of pickleball.
MARS EXPRESS opened in a bunch of theaters this past weekend, and, ladies and gentlemen, this movie rules. Imagine BLADE RUNNER mixed with TOTAL RECALL, with incredible European comic book-inspired animation. A private detective and her robot partner must navigate the illegal world of robot hacking on Mars to solve a mystery. It's a twisty sci-fi noir with badass robots and gorgeous art design. Check this film out!
I really enjoyed AZTEC DEATH WHISTLE by Miguel Myers, Luis Rivera, and team. The short comic book one-shot is a hyper-violent Latinx spin on Shazam (formally Captain Marvel) about a young boy who transforms into an Aztec warrior to tangle with some neighborhood bullies. Good stuff for gorehounds, this book is highly recommended!
I also read the PSYCHO GOREMAN comic, which finally arrived after a Kickstarter campaign a few years back. It was a fun read, but I particularly loved the magazine-style format and size. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that there are more journeys into the weird corners of PG’s world - bring on the Saturday morning cartoon, the click-based video game and the table-top RPG.
In what was an uncharacteristically busy week for media consumption, I also finished watching the final episodes of DERRY GIRLS last week. The show, streaming on Netflix, is incredibly charming and mixes coming-of-age teen comedy with the real-life historical events happening in Ireland in the ‘90s. The cast is particularly fantastic and I hope I see them all pop up in more things I watch.
I know I’m well behind the curve on this one, but I had a lot of fun with it. It made me remember how much I enjoyed taking a modern history class about Europe in college. It was one of the only history classes I took while in college due to my major’s disinterest with the past but I loved learning about what our friends in the UK were up to over the last 100 years.
I’ll be tabling at Comicpalooza in a few weeks, selling copies of WHERE WOLF. I’ll have both the regular and various paperbacks available, in addition to a few copies of the hardcover. In addition, I’m participating in a couple of panels - one about horror and one about comedy in literature. I’ll be in booth 2740 - come and say hello!
Don’t forget, you can request a copy of WHERE WOLF from your local library or buy a personal copy directly from the publisher, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Brazos Bookstore in Houston, Ghoulish Books in San Antonio, or Whose Books in Dallas. If you've read WHERE WOLF, please consider leaving a rating or review on Amazon, Goodreads, The StoryGraph, or wherever you discover new books.
I’ll be hosting two events this week at the Alamo Drafthouse LaCenterra. Up first is ENTER THE CLONES OF BRUCE on Wednesday, May 8. This documentary explores the Brucesplotation phenomenon in which a bunch of movies were released following Bruce Lee’s death that starred actors “named” Bruce Le or Bruce Li. One film (THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN) even saw the soul of Bruce Lee rising from the grave to team up with Popeye to fight Dracula, James Bond, the Godfather, and Emmanuelle. Buy tickets to the documentary here.
On Friday, I’ll be hosting a screening of A BOY AND HIS DOG. Adapted from his own novella by Harlan Ellison, this film was directed by Port Author native L.Q. Jones stars Don Johnson as a scavenger who must navigate the wild, Wooley future of the year 2024 with his telepathic canine companion. Along the way, they will encounter cannibals and sex carnivals. Buy tickets to the film here.